Arthro-Pilates and Lupus

 

 

NOTES FROM A WEISBROD

 

SUVs…Taking Over North York   

“Station-wagon”!…If your old enough to recognize the word, then your old enough to understand the comparison.

When I was a little girl my mother would chauffer myself, my sister and our two brothers around the streets of North York in this mechanical abomination that had become common place in seventies culture. Ours was tan with some form of fake wood paneling on the side which only enhanced it’s vulgarity and made it, if possible, even more conspicuous.

Finally in the eighties, these huge, gas guzzling monstrosities made their way to their appointed car graveyards with headstones that read “What were we thinking”? I was content in my denial that never again would our streets see such a foolish creation in car architecture. This was only to be a short reprieve, for in the nineties a reincarnation occurred..The SUV (Sport Utility Vehicle).

It’s 2004, and once again our North York roads are congested with this new form of “station wagon”. I can understand the appeal if you are a large family. After all, transporting a team of children to school, to sporting events and other everyday activities can be quite arduous. But, is it essential for single people as well as one child families to be cluttering our streets with this now popular mainstay of the new millennium? They are too large, and require too much gas to be purchased for fashion sake only. The worst offender of this SUV craze is the HUMMER.

Hey don’t get me wrong, I like a good HUMMER just as well as the next person and I am of course talking about how they look. But even though this masterful creation is awesome in its appearance, sporting sleek lines and an imposing stature, “Is it really necessary?” It is apparent to anybody who has ever driven beside one that the owner wants to be noticed. The obvious question remains, “If you want to be noticed, then why bother with tinted windows”? I suppose it is the powerful intimidation factor that makes this feature so appealing to its purchasers.

The other day I was driving on Bayview Ave, just north of Sheppard, when a black HUMMER pulled up next to me. Since I couldn’t see inside, I could only imagine it’s driver to be a large man, dressed in full camoflauge  fatiques, dark sunglasses and who surely must have been carrying heavy army artillery in the back seat. I was convinced, that world war three had just broken out at Bayview and Finch and that at any moment I would be driving into enemy territory, and much to my dismay, because unfortunately on that day I had left my hand grenades at home.

This is the only logical conclusion that any rational thinking person would come up with as to why these vehicles, or mini tanks, would be necessary on the streets of North York. If you're Arnold Schwartzennager from Los Angeles you can “almost” get away with it. If your Arnie Schwartz, from North York, be advised that you…CANNOT!!.

It seems that North York as well as many other communities and the world in general has become obsessed with bigger pay cheques, bigger houses, and definitely, bigger cars. SUV’s have taken over our streets. In response to this dilemma, I have come up with my own personal solution. I have decided to sell my condo and move into my sisters SUV.

After all, the square footage is the same, it comes with a TV, VCR, stereo, a sunroof, and with better décor. Now if only I can get my sister to bring me my meals out to her driveway, I’ll be set, and I won’t even have to pay property taxes… Hey maybe SUV’s are necessary after all!!

 

©Lori Weisbrod

 


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