Arthro-Pilates and Lupus





Single Mothers

In our society where the divorce rate is at an all time high, raising children in a two- parent household is steadily becoming a rarity rather than a norm. It is difficult enough going through a divorce, but becoming a single working mother when it was not a planned lifestyle choice can be an enormous challenge.

For Adriana, in her early forties this is now her “reality”.  Raising her six-year old son and ten year old daughter while at the same time furthering her career as a personal trainer is an arduous juggling act of compromise and timing.  She starts her workday at six thirty A.M., and finding responsible childcare before and after school hours is the biggest hurdle to overcome.  Nannies, unhappy with her demanding schedule, end up quitting and the repetitive hiring of new help is disruptive to the home environment, when stability is the ideal goal of this loving mother.  Fiercely independent, Adriana more often than she would like to, does accept assistance from her mother and friends so that she can visit clients and earn the required income to raise her children in the fashion that they are accustomed to.  As she puts it “I don’t like asking people for too many favors, I don’t want the sympathy.  I’d rather do it myself”!  After a divorce and even though her ex-husband still plays a role, it is inevitable that financial matters will come into play. Combine this, with the psychological and physical drain of doing everything alone, such as help with homework, discipline issues, and dealing with unexpected illness such as the cold and flu and it’s no wonder that this single mom, like so many others in her situation is stressed to the max. Concerned with her children’s emotional well being Adriana understands the toll that lifestyle changes due to the separation from her ex-husband initially took on them. Adjustments in all areas of their lives, has made her diligent in making sure that she spends quality time with her children, but there are only so many hours in the day and by the bedtime hour this normally energetic mom is exhausted and drained.

Dating can also be a dilemma for single mothers. Although not intent on looking for a replacement dad for her kids, Adriana admits she would like to meet a caring partner to spend the rest of her days with. If you’re a single woman without children, it is hard enough to meet that special someone, but if you are in charge of raising a child, this makes dating a minefield of understandable concern.  Guidelines in this area are paramount and in a responsible vigilant mind set, she will not allow her children to meet any new man in her life until a serious relationship has been established.

Raising offspring in a two-parent home is a difficult endeavor at best, but if you’re a single mom going it alone, it then becomes a challenge of huge proportion and is one that should be admired and commended if done well. Adriana is up for that challenge and despite all the thankless hurdles and obstacles, she is not only outstanding in this achievement, but she is grateful for the job. Love for her children is what sustains this single mother and the many other single moms in Toronto that are just like her!

And at the end of the day, when all’s said and done, it’s the love that will really make the difference in all of our children’s lives.


©Lori Weisbrod


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