Arthro-Pilates and Lupus





Chivalry... A thing of the past

I don’t know about you, but I miss the good old days when a man would pick you up at your place for a first date, flowers in hand, accompany you to his freshly washed car, position himself on the outside of the walkway for fear your dress would get muddied by oncoming traffic, open the door for you and, if it was raining, escort you to the front entrance of the restaurant, all the while holding an umbrella over your head, and then treat you to a wonderful dinner.

Call it old fashioned if you will. I call it plain old chivalry, and from all intelligible observation, it’s dead. From my own experiences and when speaking to other women of all ages, they will absolutely concur. These days when a man wants to see you for a first date, it’s usually for coffee, where you will meet at a specified location with the knowledge that it will be dutch treat. Feminism has done a wonderful good for womankind. It has definitely made us more independent. It has helped us in the workplace and it has hopefully given us certain rights of equality. But has it taken away our right to be treated with good manners and chivalry? I understand that to men this might seem like a huge contradiction. After all, we want to be treated like self-sufficient individuals, but we also want to be treated like we are special.

I was on a date a few weeks ago with a man who did not seem to appreciate the concept of chivalry. No opening of the car door, not a flower in sight, no wine with dinner, except for his frequent complaining about his ex wife. And then when the check came, he looked at me with puzzlement in the realization that I had no intention of pulling out my wallet. To add insult to injury, he then retrieved a calculator from his pocket to figure out the tip. What he couldn’t seem to compute on that same calculator was the fact that I would not say yes to a second invitation. Now if you’re thinking that this is an isolated incident well, think again. In a world of internet dating and impersonal communication, this scene while extreme happens more often than not. Younger women frequently tell me that men don’t even call for dates anymore. They just hang out in groups. At least I have the vague memory of chivalry, but women in their twenties can’t seem to even fathom being treated this well.

I know that there are some good old-fashioned men out there who would never think to treat a female in such a poor manner and bless you all, but unfortunately for us ladies, you are becoming an extinct breed. The other day I was entering an office building when a young man was exiting. Before I could even get through the door he let it close on me. As the hard steel frame hit me on the back of my head I swear I could hear the voices of women everywhere crying with saddened dissolution that feminist mantra of days gone by.

Loudly they wept… “You’ve come a long way baby”!


©Lori Weisbrod


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