Arthro-Pilates and Lupus





Choosing a baby’s name…Choose wisely

When couples decide to have a baby, I am convinced that they must spend more time choosing a paint color for their child’s room than a good name.  After all, what’s in a name? As Shakespeare so eloquently put it, “that which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet”. 

It’s a good sentiment in theory, but then again he never lived in the 21st century to see the outright suffering, that parents would inflict on their children by picking the most outlandish and inappropriate names.  When Gwyneth Paltrow and husband Chris Martin named their baby Apple, everyone and their dog sat up and took notice.  However this was not the first time that a celebrity had made such an odd selection. Demi Moore and Bruce Willis named their children Rumer, Scout, and my all time favorite Tallulah Bell.  Julia Roberts recently delivered twins Phinnaeus and Hazel.  Call me traditional but I like the classic names such as John, Mary, Michael, Steve, Brian, Susan, Elizabeth and the like.

Sure they might be boring and unoriginal, but I would rather be safe than sorry. Think about it! Your child will be sporting the name that you’ve chosen for them for the rest of their life. It’s the first impression they will give to the world. Therefore certain rules must be followed! 

Rule #1
Never be trendy and name your child after someone famous. After all, you don’t know how that star’s celebrity career is going to play out and it might be a bad selection in the long run. I feel sorry for anyone named after O.J.! In the seventies our schoolyards were filled to the brim with little girls named Farrah, and I lived next door to a boy named Marlon. Although I never actually heard him cry “Stella”, I had a sneaky suspicion as to whom he was named after. Woody Allen and Mia Farrow named one of their children Moses Amadeus.  Talk about pressure!

Rule #2
Make sure, that the first name fits the last name. Toffuti Steinberg and Shalika O’toole just don’t seem to make sense.

Rule #3
Pick a name and spell it simply. Sarah, spelled Serra, and Carol spelled Karyll is just annoying.

Rule #4
Choose a name that’s not confusing. Is it Kristy or Kirsty. I can never get it straight.

Rule #5
Make sure, that the name can be easily pronounced. Kieran is a beautiful Irish boys name. But taunts from classmates such as “Karen, come skip rope” will be torturous in his childhood.

Rule #6
Never name your child anything that’s ethereal like Sunshine, Moon, Sky, Rain. Did we not learn anything from the sixties?

Rule #7
Remember that your child’s chosen name or it’s short form will someday go on their resume. Candy Jones or Roxy Right applying for the position of geophysicist will definitely be overlooked. You might as well buy a stage and a pole at their birth because their destiny is sealed.

Names are an important part of who we are and what we can become. The next time you or a family member finds out that a baby is due please take care in making your selection. Unless they decide to change it later, the name that you give a child is the name that they will be stuck with forever.

Trust me, I know what I’m talking about! After all, when I was born, my parents, much to my regret named me Laya Weisbrod. Thanks Mom and Dad!


©Lori Weisbrod


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